Steps and Mess

All this time

I’ve been asking why

“Why did I do this?”

“Why am I doing this?”

“Why can’t I change?”

“Why am I not changing?”

…

Trying to find the answers,

Eagerly I pushed myself to enter the maze called life,

As I go deeper, the ray of light that guided me started to fade

The walls that build up this maze seems to grow taller

The road in front seems darker and darker.

I can no longer see where this path I’m taking will lead me.

…

How far did I go?

How long did I take?

What did I do?

I lost count.

I lost myself.

I’m lost.

…

I thought if I keep moving forward

I’ll find my way out of this place.

But why is it that,

The steps I took, the changes I’ve made,

All of it brought me to the same old mess?

…

18072018

1450 HRS

Abandon Who?

Today I sit under the shade of a tree

I asked,

“God, why did you abandon me?”

…

I studied hard to earn my degree,

Yet why it won’t satisfy me?

I worked night and day for money,

Yet my pocket seems always empty.

…

I live together with my lovely family,

Yet why do I feel lonely?

I enjoyed life with friends and luxury,

Yet the joy feels temporary.

…

I pretty much have everything,

But it feels like a piece is missing.

Oh, my heart knows the thing

It was You that I was missing.

…

 I sit and gazed on the sky painted blue

“God, why did I abandon You?”

…

01082017

1851 HRS

That girl

All those feelings

burning inside her

She had no idea

how to let it show

To whom she would talk to

To where she would go

I asked her and she said,

“I don’t know.”

…

All this while, she acts like she’s fine

God knows, she was on the edge of the line

Little by little, her sorrow shows sign

But even so, others don’t mind.

…

She was furious

She was sad

She felt anxious

And always mad

The smile on her face, now it fades

She cries alone, on the side of the bed

…

She was not as she was before

She felt distant, I was sure

I gazed her eyes, it was as cold as ice

I thought to myself

“A little help would suffice”

…

29072017

0345AM